My husband died. Yours didn’t! There….I said it! But why? Why did I say something so awkward and random? Because its okay!
It’s okay to come up to me and talk about your husband and marriage. It’s okay to complain about this or that, and about your husband. I may not be able to enjoy the presence of my soul mate, but you are. And that is okay!
But don’t just leave it there! It’s okay to complain. You two are imperfect people trying to make a marriage work in a fallen world. I get it! Our marriage wasn’t perfect either! All I ask of you is to talk, communicate, and love one another. Voice your concerns, while remembering that God has blessed you with another day with your loved one. And know that, whatever the grievance is, it’s only temporary.
I have had people talk to me and make comments about their spouse, or such and such marital duties, then immediately try to back track it while apologizing. And I get it. They are trying to be sensitive to the fact that I no longer have a spouse on this earth. But it is okay! It really is!
Talk to me! I want people to talk to me about it! It tells me that you don’t think any less of me because of his death. And who knows, maybe in our almost 15 years of marriage, or the process of his death, we have encountered a similar situation. Maybe, just maybe, there can be one last nugget that I can give. Maybe my marriage can still be useful and impact full.
I am writing this completely from my heart. I want you to know…..that it’s okay!