Have you ever prayed for something that you wanted with your whole heart and heard nothing back? No “wait,” “not yet,” or “I have something better.” What if the answer God gives you is silence??
I have not written in a while. Life has ramped up for me. I have a job that is going well and the girls just finished their school year. Everything seems to be getting better…..more into a “normal” routine. Except it isn’t.
I have been silent a lot, lost in my thoughts. Battling and processing feelings I’ve been having. I have been praying a lot, but all I have been getting back are my own thoughts in my head. When I pray about this specific feeling, I don’t hear God’s voice giving me advice. The feeling doesn’t go away. The ache remains. No voice is heard…..just silence.
Why God? What’s up with this?? You answer me in other areas! Why not this one?!? These are not feelings I chose to have. This isn’t what I wanted out of life! But here I am….my stupid heart won’t let go of these stupid feelings and I’m stuck.
Why do I say all of this?? Because I think that God is allowing me to sit in this. He isn’t ignoring me. He is actually answering me by not answering me. Sometimes I think no answer, silence, is God’s answer to a prayer for the time being.
It’s not that He doesn’t care or doesn’t hear it. That would be against His nature, and scripture.
Jeremiah 29:12-13 tells us “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
1 Peter 3:12 states “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer,”
God even delayed in answering David. Psalm 22: 1-2 tells us this.
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”
So why would God answer our prayers with silence? Sometimes it’s because God is still working behind the scenes, in ways you can’t see, to prepare the answer for you. Sometimes it’s because He has something better for you. Other times, I think, it’s because He wants you to check where your heart really is in the situation, and if it’s in line with His will.
Sometimes it’s because God wants you to lean more into him.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Yet other times, it’s because what we are praying for isn’t what we should be praying for, because we just don’t know any better. In these situations we have help from the Spirit.
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26
Whatever the reason, I need to rest in the fact that God does hear my prayers. And that, even though all I hear is silence right now, I can trust in the fact that God is at work answering this prayer. In His timing He will reveal the answer to me. Until then, I will continue to pray and wait for the answer, listening for His voice. I may not like, or even be frustrated with, what I am feeling. But I know, as long as I pray and lean into God while I wait, I am still moving towards the future He has for me.
Perspective for the Moment 