Truth. Identity. Belonging. Purpose. Four words my church uses to describe the journey to become more like Jesus. These four words are simple, but impactful. When applied properly, these four words can change somebody’s life.
Recently, I’ve been trying to coach my daughter on how to become an even better teammate and leader. In this, I used these principals. I showed her how each person on her team has belonging (they are being seen and known as part of the team), identity (their identity is in who they are as a person and a player on the team), purpose (they are an intricate part of the team in the position they play), and truth (how their skill is and how they play as part of the team) And then I came to the realization that these 4 principals can be applied anywhere in your life.
Belonging: a deep feeling of being accepted, valued, and comfortable as a true part of a group, team, or place.
Identity: the unique set of qualities, beliefs, personality traits, and values that make you who you are.
Purpose: the reason for which something is done, created, or exists.
Truth: agreement with fact, reality, or actuality.
At work, at home, with friends and family, we all have these four basic needs. To know we belong; to have an identity that impacts others; to have a purpose in this world; and to know truth. If you are someone who struggles with one, or all, of these areas, know you are not alone. Even if no one else, know I struggle with one of these at any given point in the day. All of these crumble the second you get the news that your spouse has died, and you spend the next forever long (that’s what it feels like) re-building what these look like in your “new normal” life without them.
So what does this look like in a life where these 4 essentials come crashing down? Where do we find these? Well, I’d love to tell you it’s always in Jesus, but let’s be real. Despite my best efforts, I still go looking for these things in the world around me. Don’t get me wrong, Jesus is the ultimate fulfillment of these, but we are also human, made for companionship with one another. Does that mean I solely look for these in man? No. But it does mean that its natural to look for these in those I spend my time with.
So what does Belonging look like? The Bible says we belong to Christ, and to others in Christ.
“So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” Romans 12:5
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” 1 Corinthians 12:27
Chosen….that word sticks out to me the most….to be picked out or preferred over others. Belonging is being chosen. Where are you being chosen? Those are your people. That is your belonging.
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
I think this is the best Bible verse on what it feels like after a death of a spouse. Parts of your identity died with them (being their spouse, who your best friend and person is, who you are as a person, etc) and a new life without them has begun. But what does that mean? What is our identity now? 1 John 3:1 calls us children of God and Galatians 4:7 says that because of this, God has made us an heir. I know that doesn’t help answer the question of what your identity is now, but hopefully it helps fill in the blanks some. No matter what you rebuild into, if you call on Jesus’ name, one thing is for sure. You are a child of God and an heir with Jesus.
Purpose. What is my purpose now? That’s another big one once you lose a spouse. Your world stops and you think “What’s the purpose of any of it?” This is another hard one to specifically define as, just like identity, the Bible tells us what our general purpose is, but how it plays out in your life varies from the next person. No matter what your purpose in this life is, Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” and 1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
This leaves me with Truth. None of this makes sense if you don’t know Truth.
John 14:6 tells us Jesus is Truth – “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” and John 16:13 says “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard.” If you know Jesus, and call on his name, the rest will fall into place. In knowing Truth (Jesus) you can find your Purpose, Identity, and Belonging.
This won’t look perfect, or fall into place overnight. It’s a process. And that’s the beauty of it. Belonging. Identity. Purpose. Truth. Four simple words with a world of impact. These four words have the power to change someone’s life.
Perspective for the Moment 