Grace Upon Grace

Some of you may be wondering where I have been at recently….why there hasn’t been a new post in a while…

Rest assured, I didn’t forget about this page. No, my healing isn’t done and I’ve moved on. My healing probably won’t ever be done….and this will always be an outlet to process. Sorry….you’re stuck with me.

God is still talking to me, but right now it’s in fractured sentences.  I hear bits and pieces,   but am not sure what He is trying to tell me. I’m having a hard time putting together what he’s saying.  Maybe it’s by design, because it’s not yet time for Him to reveal to me what he is working on. Maybe it’s because I’ve been so busy that I haven’t taken the time to really sit down with Him and spend time with him and focus on His voice.

Whatever the reason, I know that He is still there and working in my story. 

And in that story, I have been experiencing grace upon grace. It’s hard to be a single (only) parent of two teenage/preteen girls, juggling everything house wise, a full time job, soccer, mental and emotional health of the 3 of us, a dog, friends, the list goes on. With so many plates in the air, some are bound to drop. It’s inevitable. Some days, it’s prayer/alone time. Some days it’s not being emotionally or mentally available for my girls. Some days it’s something work related. Others, it’s housework.

All while dealing with daily reminders that the person I was supposed to be sharing these responsibilities with is no longer on earth. Some days I am able to manage the daily tasks just fine, others bring waves of grief as I’m barely holding my head above water.

I don’t say this for sympathy. I say it as a reminder. Even though it has been some time, life is not the same for me, and never will be. I can be great one minute, then something triggers a memory and sends me spiraling down emotion lane. I can seem fine on the outside, but wrestling with so much on the inside.

The same thing can be true for any of the people you encounter each day.

That person in line who can’t seem to get it together and is holding up the line…..could be trying so hard to keep it together after the loss of someone or something so huge in their life that they can barely function.

That person driving slowly and appears to not be present while driving……may be lost in the memory of a loved one who has passed.

The person in front of you who is un-showered and barely put together…..might be so overwhelmed with all the emotions that they are numb and depressed.

That person you pass on the street who gives a big smile and greets you….probably are still grieving the loss of a loved one.

Be patient with them. Be kind to them. Love them. Smile back.

Grace upon grace.

Grief looks different on different people, at different times during the day.  I have been all of the above before. Sometimes during the same day. 

Don’t be quick to judge someone based on what you see in the moment.  You never know what their moments leading up to this one have been like.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

**Disclaimer: although this is sometimes true, it’s not always true. Some days I actually do have really good days.**