The Voices in my Head

Recently, a coworker and friend’s son went into the hospital for a stroke and a blood clot. When he took a turn for the worse, they went into the vein to remove the clot, which was blocking about 90% of it. Within days he was on the mend, and moved out of ICU into a regular room. He is now out of the hospital, and starting therapy from the stroke.

Why am I telling you this? Well, if you don’t know me personally, or don’t know the story, my late husband died of blood clots. My friend’s son’s story was a personal one, to me. I am very happy that he made it through okay and that his outcome was different.

Then I hear this voice in my head…..

“Why are you so happy about this?? You should be mad! Your beloved husband didn’t make it….why should he? What makes him so special?”

Immediately, I recognize this voice. It is not my own, or one of God. It is the devil himself trying to get into my thoughts. Trying to turn a joyous occasion into a God-loathing pity party. Well, Satan, not today!

Yes, it is true…my husband did not make it through his blood clots. Why? Why did God choose that outcome for him? We will never know fully. Why God chooses to cure one person of cancer, yet take another one to Heaven of the same thing…..or why one person gets into a horrible accident and looses their life on earth, but another person recovers from their life-threating injuries…I don’t know.

What I do know, is that God is a fair and just god. He has a plan and a purpose for EVERY event that goes on in your life. From birth to death, and everything in between…and it is ALL to bring glory to Him.

For all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He.” Deuteronomy 32:4

 “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.  He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:16–17

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29–31

“I form light and create darkness; I make well-being and create calamity; I am the LORD, who does all these things.” Isaiah 45:7

“Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come?” Lamentations 3:37–39

What does this have to do with the story of my friend’s son vs. my late husband? Well, if I would have forgotten what was written in the Bible, and the attributes of God above, I would have easily fallen into the devil’s trap. I would have gotten jealous of my friend and his son….that he lives to see another day.

How do I keep myself from falling into that trap? Well, the first step is to study the Bible. How do we get to recognize God and his voice if we don’t take the time to first get to know Him? When those voices show up in my head, no matter what the topic, I then have a baseline to bounce them off of. Do they line up with the Word of God? Does what I’m hearing in my head match what I’ve read? Is it encouraging harm or discouragement to self or others? Or does it reflect the love of Jesus?

It’s a few days into a new year as I’m writing this. I want to challenge you, the reader in this. .. pick up a new to you Bible reading plan. If you have done one in the past, that’s great! Choose a different one. See how God speaks to you through it, and how much more you get to know the One who created us, and knows us down to the number of hairs on our head. How are you growing in your relationship with Him in order to know his voice?

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