Author Archives: brandymazz

For those of you who don’t know, I am writing this on the day that marks 3 1/2 years since Rick’s passing. On the 6th month anniversary of his passing, I wrote a post about every day being a gift . In that post, I described the past 5 moths as weepy. Today, I wouldContinue reading “Contentment”

I have a cat who thinks wake up time is 5am…every morning. She will do everything she can to wake me up at this time. She will meow at me while walking across the bathroom, knead at my neck with her claws, walk across me repeatedly, etc. The other morning, when all the above wasn’tContinue reading “Doors”

Depression. The part of grief that no one talks about, but it’s the most real part of the process. The feeling of deep sadness over what was lost. Sadness over plans and dreams that will never come to fruition. The waves of depression come and go like the crashing of waves on the shore. SomeContinue reading “Grief Depression”

I was recently reflecting on a newly married couples class that is being offered  at my church. It made me think about what made my marriage to Rick different. Then it got me thinking about how no one asks my advice on marriage now that I no longer have a spouse. It’s funny how thatContinue reading “Marriage”

Some of you may be wondering where I have been at recently….why there hasn’t been a new post in a while… Rest assured, I didn’t forget about this page. No, my healing isn’t done and I’ve moved on. My healing probably won’t ever be done….and this will always be an outlet to process. Sorry….you’re stuckContinue reading “Grace Upon Grace”

Recently, a coworker and friend’s son went into the hospital for a stroke and a blood clot. When he took a turn for the worse, they went into the vein to remove the clot, which was blocking about 90% of it. Within days he was on the mend, and moved out of ICU into aContinue reading “The Voices in my Head”

When we lose someone close to us, even though it may not feel like it in the moment, we know there eventually will come a day when we reach that spot where you are okay again. Not just the canned response of “I’m okay” , but the truly being okay. And it’s weird when thatContinue reading “Cautiously Optimistic”

There are events that we remember very vividly, and very often. There are events that we remember, after something reminds us of it. Then there are events we don’t remember at all. One of the events that I think of often, and can still see vividly in my mind, even after almost 2 1/2 years,Continue reading “Rainbows”

In life we make plans, and set expectations on how things will go. But what happens when our expectations aren’t met? You get a new job. It’s your first day. You dress the part, excitedly show up for work. Your head swimming with ideas of how your day will go. But when you get there,Continue reading “Expectations”

Close your eyes an picture this scene: “It is a mid to late summer evening. It has been 90 degrees and unbearably humid. You see clouds roll in. They take the sky from a seemingly mid-day setting to dusk within a matter of minutes. You feel the wind pick up, circling around your body asContinue reading “Peace in the Storm”